The idea that you could observe your thoughts was a novel concept to me. I thought that my thoughts were me. Who I was. When I started observing how I was perceiving situations around me, my feelings about them, and how my reactions were based on them, I was amazed. For the first time, I realized I had a choice. I did not have to be the story I was telling myself. I could choose different.
What I thought of as "me" was my egotism. That mental concept of needing to be safe at all costs. Keeping me basing my choices from a place of lack: self-worth, powerlessness, insecurity, doubt, jealousy, frustration, guilt and the over arching feeling of fear, not being safe. Making all of my decisions from these energies kept me stuck and playing small. And, even in some cases putting me in unstable and scary situations. Nothing worked out or any good came out of my decision-making from this point of view.
Your ego as a healthy part of your mental body keeps you in higher vibrational frequencies by allowing you to feel good about yourself. When you have a healthy ego, you are empowered to make the correct decisions for yourself and those around you that rely on you. You are able to set boundaries with those that would take advantage of your good graces and loving heart.
The ego has been getting a bad rap in many circles recently due to the lack of differentiation between the light and dark aspects of this mental concept. In all things, there is a light and a dark side. It is up to us to become aware of where we are operating in out own lives, taking responsibility for our choices and decisions. Once we become self-aware of how we are making our decisions and choices, we can then monitor and adjust ourselves accordingly to have the experiences that we want. Making the choices to live in the higher vibrations of hopefulness, optimism, positive expectation, enthusiasm, belief, happiness, passion, joy, empowered, freedom and ultimately Love.
How do you get there? Ask yourself how am I thinking about my situation? Could I think about it from a different perspective? Am I seeing the "whole" picture or just the part that affects me? Sometimes we need to journal out our feelings and the situation to see our own perspective. Sometimes we need to discuss it with a trusted friend: someone who has no agenda in the situation to help us get a bird's eye view.
Taking time to get clear on how you make your decisions and the emotion behind the process will help you to recognize the motivation behind the process: ego vs. egotism. Are you operating out of fear or empowerment? Knowing this will help you change your situations and relationships from glass half empty to glass half full!
Steps to help you recognize: ego vs. egotism
Start observing your thoughts.
Do your thoughts always come from a fear based emotion?
Do your thoughts repeat over and over? What are the patterns?
Are you aware of why you think the thoughts you do?
Are you putting your needs first?
Once you are clear on "how" you think about yourself, your situations and your relationships only then can you change the "script" in your mental body to choose how you think.
Blessings, M xo